The last 1.5 weeks were pretty bizarre.
Several things happened that just made me want to scream all day. Hurt someone. Wrap myself in a blanket on the sofa and cry. Thoughts and conversations that never happened swirled around in my head in a never-ending circle that just got faster and faster. Frustration grew. Even with a lot of exercise, I didn’t find a way to let it all out… My head felt just short of exploding, anger came and went, like waves. Envy of what other people have, and that it just all looks so simple for them, showed itself. I didn’t appreciate how I felt, I rather despised myself deep inside (or if I’m really honest, closer to the surface than was good for me). Everyone has problems – also some that he/she thinks are existential, or cannot be solved. Most of these are what I call “first world problems” – nothing serious, or something that only happens in your head and is only a problem in your eyes. There’s people out there who don’t have a home, have nothing to eat, are really sick without having health insurance… this list could be continued endlessly. And this should put it in perspective. But sometimes it just doesn’t.
How do you handle it when something like this hits you? How do you end the vicious circle of thoughts bringing you down? What helps getting out of it, and “re-becoming” yourself, remembering what’s good in life and that nothing is as desperate as it seems? Thanks for sharing!
First step: Writing about it and making a complete fool of myself out in the blogosphere feels kind of good. 🙂